all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
