Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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