i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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