The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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