The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
