i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
