Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
