Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
