no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
