Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
