Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
