I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
