it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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