This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
