Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
