Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
pop tarts are not kleenex
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
