This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
