...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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