yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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