Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
