You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize