You smell like stripper and shame
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
