Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
These tits shall not be calmed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
