If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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