i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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