whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He? As in you personified your dick?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
