dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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