I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize