I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
