careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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