I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize