weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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