So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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