We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
