there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
