forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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