My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
