Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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