And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
