he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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