You're so nebulous sometimes
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
