I CAN MOONWALK!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
