oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
