ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We have started to decorate penises.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
