he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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