i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
