remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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