he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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