you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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