Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
