i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you never un-have a 4some
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
