Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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