Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
