I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
