is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
