jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
