So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think your dad took our porno
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize